.On being motivated by guilt.

Yesterday was all planned out. First thing in the morning was the first day back to seminary after the holiday break. After that, we were signed up to clean at the temple at 9:15am. I was looking forward to it.

It started out all wrong when I woke up and turned the alarm off instead of pushing snooze. It would have been a really horrible blunder if it hadn't been for my internal alarm waking me up an hour later at 6:25 (seminary starts at 6:30). I gasped!
"Hunny! Wake up! You've gotta get ready and go to seminary without me!"
{This, because Air has the ability to get ready in zero time... while I was a mess with no makeup and messy hair. Plus I'd been sick and still wasn't feeling great.}
Anyway, he made it there alone only 10 minutes late. Phew! ...aaaaaand I went back to sleep. Feeling incredibly guilty.

I awoke to Air calling me on his way home from seminary with stories from the class that I'd missed. I looked over at the clock and gasped! again...
"Hunny! You stayed late! It's 9! We were supposed to be at the temple by 9:15! We can't make it!"
I was just full of guilt again. This is probably one of the most guilty moments I've ever had. In my life.
I felt bad for the rest of the day yesterday. While I was doing loads of laundry for the autistic kids. While we were grocery shopping. While I was talking on the phone to my sister about the Christmas present she sent us. The whole day. It was horrible. I needed to make up for it.


Today I jumped out of bed the minute I heard the alarm and was ready about 15 minutes earlier than I've ever been. I made it to seminary to see those awesome kids again. They were on their best behavior today, it was astonishing!
Maybe they missed me? (I wish) Maybe they were in need of a spiritual refill since they'd been away from seminary for 2 whole weeks? Maybe both.

Both applied to me for sure.

I've never been so happy to be there at 6:30am as I was today. Maybe there's a reason I missed class yesterday? I don't really know. Sure seems like it tho.


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