Life is made up of ups and downs and sometimes the ups last for such a long time you might start to believe that it's not so much an "up" as it is the "normal". We honestly thought our life was safe and steady for the past few years, and until a few weeks ago, didn't foresee anything drastic or terribly unfortunate coming our way.
When you've come so far and worked so hard for the things you have or the positions you hold, it is a harsh reminder to see that none of it truly belonged to you in the first place--because it can all be taken from your grasp in an instant. For no reason at all.
I'm not writing this post to complain or to make anyone feel sad for our situation, I promise. I'm writing this as a personal journal entry to document the dramatic twist that life has thrown in our path as of late. How unfair and harsh the world can be, and how sometimes we can be forced to make decisions that we don't want to make, or that we don't believe we should have to make. We do it anyway and try to keep a smile.
We have to take a few giant leaps backwards... and maybe (hopefully) someday we'll end up back where we left off. Many years from now.
As of right now, Air and I are completely lost and undecided as of where we need to go from here. He has unexpectedly lost his job (no notice), with a company we sorta thought we'd be with forever. Normally this might not be such a devastating blow--Aaron is a genius and could seriously do any type of work he wanted... but right now he is way too sick to reel in a new job. He needs to work from home because he's been pushing himself so much it's finally caught up to him. He wants to go back to school (and get that degree he failed to finish because of his last employer's demands). School is expensive and we have a family. He needs to get healthy again. Our house is half-renovated. We don't want to lose our half-renovated house. None of these things add up.
How about I write another blog post when we've figured this out... end
Ok, here's something positive. The post I wrote on instagram last week after I got home from an intensely spiritual and emotional night at the temple :
"Aaron and I are going through some hard times right now and we are working hard to stay afloat. It's been a while since our lives have been so shaken up or we've had to deal with so much difficulty at one time. Learning that good things can't always last forever and sometimes everything can change without warning. At the temple tonight I was blessed with the reassurance that this isn't our fault and everything is in the Lord's hands. At least we still have each other and our babies are happy."
***I also have to mention how grateful we have been to everyone who has thought of us and prayed for us and sent us messages and emails and comments in response to hearing we're having a rough time. I've cried through every single one of your messages of love. Seriously. Thank you--you know who you are.***
2 comments:
I've been wondering the details. Money money money. We've struggled with this ourselves the last year (minus the health issues) as Min and I tried to reinvent our lifestyle. And here we are back depending on the corporate world, feeling blessed but bummed that we couldn't write the story we wanted. Through the uncertain moments I try to "consider the lilies" (Matt 6:28-34) and not worry. God will bless you. He knows your needs and they'll be met.
I hope that a way to finish school opens up for you! Meantime, we're still praying for you!
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