I've been telling this story quite a bit lately when people have asked about the birth of Ames. I thought it would be good to share it on my blog before too much time goes by and I can no longer recall all of the gruesome and tender details.
I'll try to leave out some of the more gruesome details for your reading pleasure, but I can't promise anything!
The whole thing started on a dark and stormy Tuesday morning. Air and I were both exhausted from a night of no sleep. Air had been up dealing with work troubles as two group home kids had run away from home on the same night. And I had been tossing and turning with some side and back pains.
We were sitting in Air's office around 10am when I got up to get breakfast, and with that I felt a small gush. I thought it was a little odd, but didn't think it was my water breaking because I'd always expected that to be a BIG gush that would end up all over the place?
I went about things normally until around Noon when I started getting what I call my "usual montly cramps"... ok now, my "usual monthly cramps" happen to be quite horrific when compared to most women's, so this was really pretty irritating for me. I didn't think they were contractions because they were completely irregular and nobody ever told me that contractions might feel EXACTLY THE SAME AS CRAMPS!?!?!?
I tried timing these 'cramps' and could make no sense of it all. The pain was constant, then it was short, then it was gone, then it was back and stabbing, and then mostly gone but still constant. Again, this wasn't what I was told to expect from labor.
It was around this time that Air invited his Mom and brother and sisters to drive up through the rain to help us clean the house a bit to get ready for an eventual baby. I still didn't know what was going on with me, so I called the nurse and explained everything. She said it sounded like 'early labor' and it could last anywhere from 2 hours to 2 days. I decided not to rush to the hospital in case it was still 2 days away... but I was in tears pacing around my bedroom in pain while the family was all about cleaning up the house.
Air and his Mom came in to help me. Air's sweet Mom rubbed my lower back while I sat on a yoga ball crying. Then she said, "I think you're in labor."
BOOOOM!!! (thunder strikes)
The three of us stopped and looked at each other like, 'Woah, did that just happen?'
A little while later I was still pacing around the room in pain and Air said, "I think we should go to the hospital".
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! (thunder strikes even louder)
It was around 4pm and I finally agreed that yeah, maybe we should get to the hospital. We left Air's Mom at our house cleaning (bless her heart) and drove through the pouring rain to the Sturgeon Hospital.
We got to the hospital. At which point I walked directly to the admitting counter and proceeded to puke about 5 times into their trash can?? Yuck! Sorry guys!
They brought us into a delivery room with a big window and a perfect view of the storm. They checked me out and asked a million questions over and over again, to which I was mostly unable to answer coherently. Then they said I was already dilated to a 7 and that my water had actually broken. Whaaaaa?? I was stunned.
**I need to mention here how awesomely supportive and calming my Air-bear was through this whole thing. All of the nurses were in and out of the room, talking about who knows what—but Air stayed with me and let me cry on him through the whole thing. What an amazing husband...**
Just a few hours later and I was ready to push...
I'm not going to talk too much about pushing, because it was pretty much the worst thing ever. To everyone's dismay, my contractions slowed down at this point, and I felt like I had nothing left to give. I was completely exhausted.
The nurse said, "Come on Amber! You could have this baby by 8:30 tonight!"
BOOM BOOM BOOOOOOOOOM!!! (thunder strikes again)
They finally pumped some pitocin into me and started my contractions up again. But sadly, not before this poor little baby's head had been wedged right there at the exit for a few hours already. And then they ended up using the vacuum to help get him out too.
At one point I heard Air say that the baby had lots of dark hair and I was shocked that he could see a head!
Ames was wide eyed as he came into this world, and as they carried him over to the sink he pooped and peed all over the place. The nurses were all laughing about it. But oh his head... his poor poor head...
All I could think about was how perfectly round and cute his head must have been just a few hours before, safely inside my belly. It made me feel terrible.
And then I heard him cry...... OH how I loved that sound..... (I still do, shhhh).
Air got to hold him first as I lay on the bed (getting stitched... ow), they asked us about a name for the boy. Air and I looked at each other and transferred some thoughts via telepathics. We hadn't decided on a name for sure yet as we were debating between two options, we thought we'd wait til we saw him to make an official choice.
"Ames Aaron Gusa", I answered. Air nodded as he looked down at Ames in his arms.
Such an amazing sight, by the way, to see Air holding his boy for the first time... so little in his arms. He finally brought him over to me.
Sweaty, greasy, tired, sore me... Definitely not the way I hoped I'd look after having a baby, but who has time to worry about that when you're holding your first baby for the first time! It felt incredible. Better than anything.
As did the shower I took right after. Heavenly.
For a few days after the whole ordeal I was telling Air that I couldn't imagine doing it again, and I might consider getting an epidural the next time... haha I may have been slightly traumatized. I knew I'd change my mind after some time went by, and I have. Bringing a life into the world takes pain... a lot of pain.
But even if I'm in pain for the rest of my life because of it, it's worth it to have Ames here with us. He's that special.
