.33 week thoughts

"This moment is special", I thought as I was rolling paint onto a wall for the fourth day in a row. Row by row, up and down, left to right. My pregnant body aching from my back to my hips. I had already finished painting multiple walls in other rooms in the home, but this room was special to me somehow. The walls in this room had to be perfect. Not a single dent. No mistakes.

This will be the baby's room.

"I must be experiencing that thing they call nesting," Funny, I wasn't sure I'd go through that like I've heard so many pregnant women talk about before. I guess I'm more normal than I think sometimes. We are all, as humans, so similar. You know?

"This room is very special." For years I've hoped that someday, when I had a baby, I'd be able to give that baby it's own room. Not because it's a 'baby requirement' or anything, but because it was my dream. And here I was, in that room in my future. It's here.

The feeling of living out my past's future overwhelms me as I prepare this room for a baby now. Gratitude to God for the fulfilling of the hopes and dreams I've prayed for, that I wasn't sure I'd be blessed enough to receive.

"A baby and a house. Do I even deserve this? Can I handle all of this?" Of course these blessings come with a lot more dedication and work than I'm used to; but whenever I think about it, instead of feeling anxiety, I feel peace. I'm looking forward to finally being a parent.

"I hope we'll be ready when the baby comes". These nine months are going by so much faster than I expected them to. At this moment I still feel a little unprepared to have a baby around here as we're still living in a construction zone. There are so many things that we still need. We'll have to take this one day at a time.

"For now, I'll just focus on painting these walls..."