Friday, January 31, 2014

.It all led to this: a post by Air

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The year, 1984. The month and day, January 31. The place, Saskatoon Saskatchewan. What my mom ate for dinner the night before, unknown. But whatever it was it transformed into me (that’s how that works right?).

And the extraordinary … average life of Aaron Gusa began.

My wonderful wife asked me to throw some words together that coherently (or attempt to be coherent) send my 20’s into oblivion while l say hello to my 30th year here on earth. So here's what I’m going to write a bit about:

It’s interesting to me my perspective on things now. I reflect on my life fairly often and I remember vividly a lot of events that have impacted me and who I am today. During my 20’s there have been many experiences that have changed me. I started my 20’s in 2004 and a completely different hemisphere. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in northern and central Argentina. I became ill there which until then I seldom was sick but after I was seldom not. I became plural at 24 in Bountiful, Utah with my beautiful American lady. We bought a house with a white picket fence…. …..well, a broken fence that’s white on one side! Our awesome baby boy was born. We’ve been really happy!

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At 20, I learned to speak Castellano and that taught me the importance of communicating to be understood and understand. Language is amazing. People are amazing. While I was there I was around small children that could speak and communicate better than me. I was often treated like one of them because of it. I learned quickly to say, “Le prometo que soy mas inteligente en ingles que en espanol!” which means, “I promise I’m smarter in English than in Spanish”. People feel so deeply and have such vivid ideas that we want to share, but we have such ineffective tools to describe them to each other. Right now we communicate through symbols, gestures, faces, noises and tones that are interpreted by someone who uses similar methods as we do. I was placed where my method was not used except by my English missionary companions. I learned quickly that all the information I had gathered to that point no one knew about because I couldn’t share it so I was presumed a nuisance and an idiot at times. The methods we use to communicate a lifetime of information that we’ve gathered, developed meaning, and give us perspective mean little if the person listening believes the few words that are said encompass everything we mean. I’ve tried to be an unassuming listener because I know now that behind everyone’s walls of communication there is an intelligent person that I can’t see, a person who is capable of valuable contribution, thought, caring and every emotion and desire that I experience myself. It’s changed me and how I see people.

While in Argentina I had health issues that had a massive impact on me. Over months I was bed ridden, I lost contact with my family, my then girlfriend back in Canada, and everyone in the world that was familiar to me. My companion at the time refused to talk to me (which wasn’t too bad because he didn’t speak English) and started rumors that I was faking being sick so I could return to Canada. I was isolated. During this time I learned how little in control I am to the events around me and to submit to something greater than me. It seems simple but it’s become a core characteristic of mine. Little did I know it would help me cope with the next 10 years of health struggles. Amber has written a lot about that so I won’t go on about it! This has changed me and how I view the struggles in life.

My favorite thing that happened to me in my 20’s is my family. By far it outweighs any other experience I’ve had. In August 2008 my wife married me and I felt like a complete person. Until then I always felt alone when I was by myself. She’s been so great for me and never could I have imagined choosing to spend the rest of my years with anyone else. She’s been my friend, wife, nurse, mother of my child, and most importantly: cub scouter. We’re still completely in love coming up on 6 years, we work together, we talk together and there is no secret between us. Complete trust to another person in all aspects of my life. Amber is my anchor in peace. It’s changed me, I depend on another.

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Amber and I worked together to bring life. A life that would become ours. A life to guide, nurture, and participate in! When he was born I felt complete, an emptiness I didn’t know I had was filled again. It’s a gift that has brought my wife and I closer together and we’re really consumed by our son. Everything he does with awe and wonder brings a light and a color to the simple things again. My wife and I get excited about things like recognizing a bird in the sky, hearing a dog bark, it’s awesome. This has changed how I appreciate the little things and experiences in my life.

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My 20’s were AWESOME. I’ve learned and grown up. I’ve made mistakes and tried to correct them. I’ve been given more than I deserve and I’m so grateful. Even though I listed some things in this post there is so much more that I would love to share, and wish I could but at the risk of sounding like an old man….

Now that I’m turning 30 I’m looking forward to another Chapter in my life with my family (if the chapters of life are a decade and not a single year).

It will probably change me…

1 comment:

Yo mama ;) said...

So very nice.....you really are smarter in English! heheheh
Just jokes...Love, Mom oxoxoxox

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